So after Billy died, Max basically pretended to be happy around her friends and family because she didn’t want to let anybody in and also because she kinda felt like she didn’t deserve to be sad. She was probably giving a lot of energy to helping El get over Hop’s death, because El didn’t really know how to deal with it. Then at some point after the summer or during the school year she started showing signs of depression and signs that she was actually struggling. That’s when she started seeing Mrs. Kelly. Running up that hill came out August 5 1985 so she probably started listening to it at the beginning of the school year. The reason she listens to this song is probably because of the lyrics: “If I only could, i’d make a deal with God, and i’d get him to swap our places.” This refers to her wishing something would happen to her, instead of Billy (as we learned in the Piggyback). She felt a strong sense of survivor’s guilt because she didn’t save him. She felt that she could have done more to save him, but him abusing her held her back. This made her think that she was a horrible person and made her have suicidal thoughts. We also know that she broke up with Lucas and “disappeared” to everyone. However, in that face of all this, she didn’t give in to Vecna. She ran out of his lair. Why? Because in that moment, she saw her friends screaming her name, and she remembered her relationships with El and Lucas and Dustin and Mike and she found something to live for. This is the tragedy in episode nine because after having her brother die, being abused, and surviving Vecna one time, she dies. But it get worse; as El brings her back to life she falls into a coma and they don’t know if she’ll wake.

All of this is so sad. She basically my favorite character and I hope she survives 😭

Tell me, did I miss anything? Did I get anything wrong? What are your guys’ thoughts?